Iconoclast vs Terence: Ten Paces Please!

Dear Sir Terence, I am not a violent man, nor ever have been, nor do I condone violence or intimidation in any way shape or form. I also do not like the sight of blood (particularly my own).

However, I was brought up in Derbyshire, when English men behaved like gentlemen, and the traditional way of sorting things out was not via lawyers at £300 per hour,but by a duel. (I am from a poor working class mining village).


I will be 52 years old in July, have diabetes, a heart complaint and am on medication for blood pressure, however I am quite happy to settle our dispute once and for all in a Boxing Ring to Marquis of Queensbury Rules (although I have never boxed or been taught how to fight).

My proposition is that the fight takes place in public and all proceeds go to Children in Need (Red Nose Day). The loser would renounce all their worldly material posessions and go and live in a monastery to contemplate the error of his ways until death

I am quite happy to do this, you have ruined my once beautiful country so much that I no longer wish to live in it. Your plans to build a Tesco's in my beautiful home town of Belper, Derbyshire,and ruin my one place of retreat by building a bypass into it is the final straw.

Please accept my challenge, you look a lot younger than me and could even win (I doubt it)... I have the power of honesty and truth on my side, which I have found to be invincible.

With love and looking forward to the final battle, David

Iconoclast David Nicolas Banned From Tesco!

A truly dark event has happened, following the iconoclast David Nicolas' wonderful film reports for Tesco-Complaint which showed Tesco's pitiful lack of customer service, our roving reporter has been banned from every Tesco store in the land (and beyond!). Gloria in excelsis deo!

David Nicolas writes: "Today, I took the computer back that I bought when filming 'Tesco's the Movie', as it was not to the described specification. Double click here for movie:-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNJ5JPBVWd0

For the crime of openly filming with a camera (such as can be bought in Tesco's or as is on any mobile phone), I was presented with this pre-prepared 'banning order' by the 'duty manager':

What a result.... the first iconoclast in the U.K. to be banned from every Tesco shop and store :)..... unless you know differently?

David says 'A wonderful result, I was only too pleased to do my shopping in the lovely local town of Shoreham-by-sea' where I got British food from the Co-op, Organic potatoes and fluoride free toothpaste from 'The Healing Light', a coffee at 'Angels Bar '... (and a chat with a beautiful manageress), and a hair cut at the barbers next door... Wonderful! I also bought a nice video in the Dogs Trust Charity shop (for 50p)... and best of all 'The Guardian' newspaper which has actually published some truth, which the metropolitan police and the Attorney General spent last night trying to ban :)

What a wonderful morning.... all thanks to being banned from Tesco's.

Thank you so much.

David was also reminded of the old Kenneth Williams line 'Infamy! Infamy!.... they've all got it infamy!' :) as Tesco's Security Staff spread around the car park of the Holmbush Centre to observe David re-parking and shopping in Marks and Spencers."

Fear not David for the law on trespass is on your side and if you were to enter a Tesco store and film or shop Tesco would need to do the following in order to sue you:

1. Establish you are/were indeed David Nicolas
2. Establish your home address or place of business
   
3. Establish what damages they have suffered by your trespass (likely NIL)

There is no criminal offence of trespass and to state one can be prosecuted for trespass is an untruth at law. Don't worry David, this banning order's threats are as empty as Tesco's apologies and promises over it's filthy fuel.

The great news is David is not banned from the Cheshunt Head Office so we look forward to some lovely film footage of the Terence!

Iconoclast finally gets his GT50545b!

Iconoclast records Tesco's poor customer service!

Bernard Matthews' Turkeys going Cheep at Tesco?

Dear Mr Leahy, Having seen on the news this morning that nearly 2000? Turkeys were slaughtered overnight at Bernard Matthews' farm in Norfolk, and at the same time being reassured by a Government Expert that there was absolutely no danger to the public, I wondered whether Tesco's has any plans to sell these tasty morsels at discount?

I was very impressed with my last Bernard Matthews Turkey from Tesco's and wonder if there is any chance in you now bringing down prices... because as we all know 'Every little helps'.

My latest art based upon the H5N1 Avian Flu virus is here:- (I am a bit of an expert myself). Would you be interested in selling my art at discount?

Kind regards
David Nicolas - GLORIA IN EXCELSIS DEO

www.davidnicolas.tv
www.davidnicolas.co.uk
www.myspace.com/davidnic0las

Iconoclast David Nicolas smells Tesco's smoke!

Dear Mr Leahy, I visited your store at the Holmbush Centre, Shoreham-by-Sea, Sussex, today, with the intention of doing my weekly shopping. As an ex-smoker who nearly died of the addiction (lung surgery 13 years ago finally helped me kick the awful dependency), I am very sensitive to tobacco smoke and have medical advice not to go near it.

Although I cannot prove it, I am 100% certain that people have been smoking inside your store and its foyer, the smell of stale cigarette smoke was overwhelming, so much so that I left without doing my shopping (nor did I stop for petrol). I mentioned it to two members of staff who were suitably indifferent.

Whilst I can appreciate you selling cigarettes to the lower social classes, as it is extremely profitable (there has never been a better way of taxing the poor and the stupid than by cigarettes, booze and gambling... as all competent politicians know). I would ask that you stop smoking inside the store if you expect my custom and the 80% of us that prefer not to smoke.

Yours sincerely
David Nicolas - GLORIA IN EXCELSIS DEO

www.davidnicolas.tv
www.davidnicolas.co.uk
www.myspace.com/davidnic0las
http://davidnicolas.blogspot.com